Letting Go of Righteousness

These past several days I, like you, have experienced a level of anxiety that is beyond my collective experience with anxiety. Of all the things that I have noticed in my inner life, I have noticed the presence of righteousness in a new way. Because I am anxious over the situation, I begin to read and listen to all sorts of voices, only to come to the conclusion that I am now an expert on the situation. I have been transformed into a world-class epidemiologist in just five days, and I know what is right and what is wrong about people’s actions and motives. And, because I am so confident in my judgement of right and wrong, I begin to feel more and more righteous in my actions (or non-actions). And the more righteous I feel the more I am able to condemn others for their actions (or non-actions).

I have noticed that my sense of righteousness is really just a veil that I use to separate myself as superior to others. Righteousness is the rationalization I use to justify my anger toward others and even the reasoning I lean on to cut people from my life. In the weaker moments, I find that I even am willing to kill a relationship under the banner of my own sense of righteousness. It is for this reason that perhaps what I, and maybe you feel, is “unholy righteousness.”

The more I am convinced of my own righteousness more consumed I am with anger. Of course the irony is that being consumed with anger moves us farther from righteousness. This is the cycle, allure and power of unholy righteousness. It makes you feel powerful while also accelerating anger and loneliness. The more angry and lonely I become the more I am sure that others are wrong, thus fueling my unholy righteousness.

So what to do in this unholy righteousness cycle? I do what I normally do in such times and look to the desert.

Abba Poemen said to Abba Isaac, “Let go of a small part of your righteousness and in a few days you will be at peace.”

There is wisdom in this to be sure. Letting go of many things leads to peace, even letting go of righteousness. Perhaps the lack of peace in our world is how addicted we all are to our (unholy) righteousness. Perhaps this season of a collective heighten anxiety will give us the courage to let go of a small part of our righteousness and discover the peace that passes all understanding was with us the whole time.

Quarantined, Set Apart, Sacred

Maybe you have been thinking about the idea of "being set apart" these days.

In religious terms, being "set apart" is another way of thinking about what is "sacred" or what is "holy." The sacred or the holy is that which is set apart. For some reason, I forget that being set apart does not mean it is better, but it is reserved for a certain purpose. Thus, we do not have tailgates in the Sanctuary, not because the Sanctuary is better than other places and cannot be “tainted by a party”, but because that place is set apart for certain purposes. 

What might it look like to consider this time where we are all set apart from one another as a sacred time? Many sacred moments in the Bible are scary. Maybe you can recall stories of humans encountering the sacred and holy and the words come to the human, "do not be afraid." This current set apart time is uniquely scary, for many of us and we are trying to not be afraid.

So to recap, we are set apart. We are a little fearful. We have voices reminding us to no be afraid. We are forced to listen more closely and gracefully than ever before. We are being called to do things in a new way. 

This may not be the ideal or dreamy picture we imagine, but is it possible that this time (like all time) is still sacred? 

May our time be sacred - even at 6 feet apart or digitally. 

How Can We Fulfill a Law We Break?

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus says,

‘Do not think that I have come to abolish the law or the prophets; I have come not to abolish but to fulfill. For truly I tell you, until heaven and earth pass away, not one letter, not one stroke of a letter, will pass from the law until all is accomplished. Therefore, whoever breaks one of the least of these commandments, and teaches others to do the same, will be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but whoever does them and teaches them will be called great in the kingdom of heaven.

Then, if you know the rest of the story, Jesus goes on to break all sorts of laws (healing on the Sabbath, claiming to be divine, turning tables over in the Temple, ignoring his mother’s requests, etc.). How can someone say they came to fulfill the law while simultaneously break it?

To obey the law means actions are directed by an outside or external things that forces compliance. For instance, if I do not pay my taxes the government will fine me. There is force that is outside or external to me that I am really responding to. If the external force was not present, then there is a likelihood that I would not obey the law. This is also why I all slow down when I drive by a police officer, but will speed up once I feel I am “at a safe distance.”

Fulfilling the law is different. Fulfilling the law comes by indirectly obeying the law.

Take the above examples, if I were to pay my taxes out of my internal delight, I am not paying them out of fear that I will be punished by some outside force. Rather, when I pay my taxes out of a personal choice, I am fulfilling the law, but not considering (thinking about the consequences) the law. If I were a person who loves to go the speed limit because I think don’t want to rush or if I think that driving slower is just more pleasurable, then I will not go over the speed limit. I am indirectly following the law.

Sometimes what looks like obeying the law, is really fulfillment of the law. And sometimes what looks like breaking the law is also fulfilling the law.

Jesus fulfilled the law, even as he breaks them.

For instance, not working on the Sabbath was a law. There was punishment if you did not obey the law. But this law was put into place in order to keep people from being abused and overworked. It was a law meant to protect people from being treated as objects. So when Jesus healed on the sabbath, yes he broke the law but in doing so the law was fulfilled. The law was intended to humanize people but was used to objectify people. As Jesus humanizes those he healed on the Sabbath, he broke the popular interpretation of the law, but fulfilled the law in full.

As you can see, It is much easier to obey than it is to fulfill the law. Because sometimes obeying the law means breaking it, and breaking the law often comes with consequences. The question Jesus poses to us is do we desire to fulfill the law or only obey it?