Feelings are data not directions

In a radio episode on KERA Think, Harvard Medical School psychologist Susan David shared a little insight about emotions. She said that emotions provide "data, not direction."

The point being, in part, that humans have evolved overtime with emotions that give us feedback on something going on inside of us. So if we are feeling angry, then it is our own bodies that are giving us data for us to use for self reflection. 

For instance, if you are angry that someone cut you off while driving you have the option to receive that anger as data or as direction. If you are a anger=direction sort of person then you may end up driving fast in order to tailgate the one who cut you off, or you may redirect your anger toward to dog at home and kick him for barking.

However, if you are a anger=data sort of person you may feel that anger and reflect on the reality that you are a person who does not like being disrespected of and you feel angry because someone's actions were disrespectful. This data may then lead you to consider if you want to keep getting angry at every slight or if you would like to do some soul work on dealing with why respect is so important to you. 

To live with the understanding that emotions provide data, not direction is to live more in line with the spiritual life. To put it another way, it is important to know who you before you know what to do.

Being Right to the Detriment of Being Effective

There is a lot of talk about "fake news". There is recognition that we all live online in little bubbles of information. There is awareness that humans tend to build and live in echo chambers. There are people in leadership who say "There’s no such thing, unfortunately, anymore of facts." With these salvos on Truth, it is no wonder there is a backlash and people are reasserting the need for facts and truth. 

Like many others, I am a fan of facts and truth. Christianity is also a fan of Truth and facts. The arguments around what is true and what is false create an environment where someone is willing to treat another like garbage all in an effort to ensure they are "right". There are a few ways to express this. I have stated before we are in a time when Truth trumps Love and I believe that Christianity is a way of being so that Love trumps Truth. 

Dr. Susan David in her interview with Krys Boyd (http://www.kera.org/2016/12/08/staying-calm-in-a-crisis/) puts it this way: we would rather be right than be effective. We would rather see to it that our point is made to the detriment of people willing to listen to us.

Or to have an axiom in the negative : if you are right, don't be a jerk. 

Another way to talk about this is the difference between political correctness (being right) and emotional correctness (being loving). FOXNews commentator Sally Kohn fleshes this idea out in the following TED Talk. 

Just a little reminder that Jesus was often willing to forgo expressing Truth if it came at the expense of Love. Perhaps the woman was caught in adultery, but Jesus does not condemn. Humans know we screw up, but Jesus still was willing to go through the crucifixion in order to bring about the loving reconciliation needed. The reality is I want to be different in this world and the way that I see being different is to act out of Love, even if the Truth takes a backseat for the time being. 

When people come into my office and talk about their lives, I don't need to tell them that they screwed up and are making a mistake. They know that. I don't need to be self righteous and point out the Truth of their actions - I need to extend Love.  

I will pay you double

While so many of us are busy getting ready for Christmas and the end of the year, Rabbi Akiva (who lived around the time the Gospels were written) tells this little story. I remind you of it as a reflection to this Advent season:

I was walking home after the sun had set and while being caught up in my meditation, I took a wrong turn home. I arrived at the gates of a Roman garrison and a voice shouted down to me, "Who are you? What are you doing here?” The night watchman's voice was so loud it jolted me out of my meditating. Additionally, I was so caught off guard by his question that I didn’t respond. He then shouted again, “Who are you? What are you doing here?” I shouted back, “What do they pay you to do this job?” The watchman answered, "A coin a day!” I then told him that I would pay him double if he would come stand at my front door and ask me those same two questions every time I left my home and returned.

Who are you?

What are doing here?