Being Right to the Detriment of Being Effective

There is a lot of talk about "fake news". There is recognition that we all live online in little bubbles of information. There is awareness that humans tend to build and live in echo chambers. There are people in leadership who say "There’s no such thing, unfortunately, anymore of facts." With these salvos on Truth, it is no wonder there is a backlash and people are reasserting the need for facts and truth. 

Like many others, I am a fan of facts and truth. Christianity is also a fan of Truth and facts. The arguments around what is true and what is false create an environment where someone is willing to treat another like garbage all in an effort to ensure they are "right". There are a few ways to express this. I have stated before we are in a time when Truth trumps Love and I believe that Christianity is a way of being so that Love trumps Truth. 

Dr. Susan David in her interview with Krys Boyd ( puts it this way: we would rather be right than be effective. We would rather see to it that our point is made to the detriment of people willing to listen to us.

Or to have an axiom in the negative : if you are right, don't be a jerk. 

Another way to talk about this is the difference between political correctness (being right) and emotional correctness (being loving). FOXNews commentator Sally Kohn fleshes this idea out in the following TED Talk

Just a little reminder that Jesus was often willing to forgo expressing Truth if it came at the expense of Love. Perhaps the woman was caught in adultery, but Jesus does not condemn. Humans know we screw up, but Jesus still was willing to go through the crucifixion in order to bring about the loving reconciliation needed. The reality is I want to be different in this world and the way that I see being different is to act out of Love, even if the Truth takes a backseat for the time being. 

When people come into my office and talk about their lives, I don't need to tell them that they screwed up and are making a mistake. They know that. I don't need to be self righteous and point out the Truth of their actions - I need to extend Love.