Sometimes I pray to be seen

There is a teaching from Jesus in Matthew 6 which goes like this: "And whenever you pray, do not be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, so that they may be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. But whenever you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you."

This line has been used by many to critique any sort of public prayer. Within many of the circles I move in and out of, this teaching is understood not as a prohibition of public prayer but of a critique of the prayer intent. Put another way, many Christians interpret this text as Jesus saying if you are praying to be seen then that is not in the spirit of prayer. 

I admit there are times that I pray with the hopes of being seen.

Sometimes I align my prayer time when I know that my kids are home in the hope that they will catch me praying. Because I am convinced that if they do not see me praying they will not come to believe that I think prayer is important. For the same reason, I make sure that there are times my kids see me brush my teeth and watch me clean the kitchen or fold laundry. 

Sometimes I align my prayer time to let my community of faith know that I pray. Again, you have to practice what you preach and if you say, "you should pray" but no one ever sees or hears that you pray outside of your "duties as a pastor" then it is easy to see prayer as task for my job not a lifestyle posture. 

I know this is not what Jesus is talking about. I understand that there is a difference in modeling prayer and "showy prayer". However, it sometimes is forgotten that when we pray it is more than just shaping my relationship with God. Prayer also shapes the relationship with those around me, prayer shapes our relationship with the world. 

So yes, there are times that I align my prayer time in the hopes that those I love and help lead will see me in the hopes that they will join in the prayers of the ages. And so the next time someone prays in public it may be worth asking why are they doing that. Is it to model or be "showy"?

Is it possible to know?

In this spirit a little antidote from Anthony de Mello:

A man got into a bus and found himself sitting next to a youngster who was obviously a hippie. He was wearing only one shoe. “You’ve evidently lost a shoe, son.”

“No, man,” came the reply. “I found one.”

It is evident to me; that does not mean it is true.

What if the hospital is full of sick doctors?

It has been said that the Church is a hospital for sinners. This may very well be the case for many of us. It is true for me. I have been brought back to life from some deep sickness in my life, call it Sin (I do). I continue to be drawn to the Great Physician of Christ to continue to be made well in my own addictions and struggles. I take medication for pride and envy. I have an ongoing treatment for arrogance and ignorance. Every year I get a physical exam for my Spirit. Some years my levels of peace, patience, and kindness are in healthy ranges. Other years I have had high levels in anger, fear and cynicism that a new diet of was required. I am in need of a hospital for my soul. 

It is also true that some people not only attend hospitals, but also work in a hospital. Here is where I stand. I work in and with the hospital of the soul, the Church. 

This is part of the reason that it is important for clergy and all Church workers to be healthy and whole. It is important for Church staff to be in a place of wellness. 

What would happen if the hospital was full of sick doctors? 

And so if you are a Church worker, I hope that you will take seriously your own health and wholeness. Practice the disciplines. Be in rhythm with the song of God. Listen to the still small voice. Attend to the "workout" of worship and confession. 

If you are not a Church worker, do your best to check in with your Church workers. Encourage them to be well so that when they do the difficult work they are asked to do, they are not making others sick. 

Identity Theft? How About Identity Loss

Identity theft is real and causes a tom of damage to people's lives that can take years to straighten out. As such, and rightly so, identity theft gets a lot of press coverage. And as common as identity theft may be identity loss may be just as common. 

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Identity loss is that thing that happens when we identify as someone but then, due to many and varied reasons, we no longer do/can. This happens to us throughout our lives, like when we move from one job to another and you now identify as "the boss". It also happens at all ages, like when a child moves through grade school and no longer identifies as the "big kids". It can happen very suddenly, like when a child is born and you no longer identify as single. It can also happen gradually, like when you realize that you no longer are the one everyone seeks advise from.

When one is a victim of identity theft, there are a number of people who can help you recover lost money or property. A credit card company can cancel the transaction, the bank can track the check, the website will issue new passwords, government can track down thieves, insurance can cover the loss, etc. 

When we experience identity loss, often times we are on our own. We just have to feel our way into a new identity, like when a child dies and we no longer identify as the "parent of ...". We have to just "suck it up" that things are different now when we are fired and we are not "employee". We have to quickly "get over it" when our team moves and we no longer identify as a "Brooklyn Dodger fan". There can be social stigma around the middle aged man who dates younger women or the middle aged woman who dresses like a twenty year old might neither who are able to let go of an identity. We do not know what to do when we are no longer identified as a "leader". We do not know what to do when after an accident and we are no longer able to identify as a "soccer player".  

I believe this is in part why the Church is needed in the world. Church has rituals that help when we suffer from some forms of identity loss. This is why weddings, funerals, baptisms, singing, corporate worship and other rituals and practices of the Church matter. We use ritual to grieve the identity loss so that we can explore and embrace a new identity. 

Additionally, the Church is the place that says that you have an identity that cannot be stolen and you cannot lose - you are forever identified as a beautiful, beloved child of God.

Forever.