Smurf Underwear and Teddy Ruxpin

This is an ad for Hanes "Showtoons" Smurf underwear. 

It is not much to look at today, but when I was a kid (maybe four or five years old) I got both of these gifts one one Christmas morning. I was so shocked that I got these underwear that I hid them from everyone and would peek at them just to make sure it was true. Then I held them up in great excitement and shouted in response to my family asking what I had, "SMURF UNDERWEAR!!!!" 

It was glorious. But it was only a few moments later that I would break down when I opened this:

View fullsize

This is a picture of a Teddy Ruxpin. Teddy Ruxpin was a bear that was mostly soft but had a hidden cassette tape player in his back with a speaker. Tapes were loaded into his back and then when they played Teddy Ruxpin's eyes and mouth would move while he "read" a book to you. Think the cuteness of Hello Kitty with the wonder of Terminator with dash of creepiness of Chucky and you get Teddy Ruxpin. 

I cried.

Not out of fear but out of pure emotions that I did not have words for at the time and still struggle with today. When I see the video recording of that moment (which I have watched countless times and tried to remember what I was feeling) it is somewhat clear that I had a strong sense of unworthiness to be receiving these two amazing gifts. I have a difficult time watching at a certain point in the video, because many of those original emotions come flooding back into my stomach and I begin to feel uncomfortable with this sort of raw emotion.

To this day there have been few Smurf Underwear/Teddy Ruxpin moments but they are powerful and life shaping. They are the events that I filter all other events in and through. They are the ones that I don't realize they affect me as powerfully as they do until I meditate on it. They are the underscores that play in my head as I live my life. You don't hear them but I do and they are powerful when I listen to them.

I don't know what your Smurf underwear or Teddy Ruxpin moments might be. I don't know if you take the time to explore those moments. I don't know if you are like me and know they exist but they are so raw and powerful that they are difficult to look at for too long or I am overcome. I have come to discover that these moments matter and on the whole we do not know how to listen to one another talk about these important things. 

So not only do I invite you to reflect on your life shaping moments but, and perhaps more importantly, ask a loved one about their life shaping moments.

St. Anthony the Great, C.S. Lewis and Humility

It was said that Saint Anthony had a vision of the world full of snares and traps. In a loud voice he cried out, "Lord, who can overcome these snares and traps?" A gentle voice was heard saying, "The humble."

Humility is something that is at the heart of Christian spirituality and yet we are often unsure of what it looks like. There are times when we have false humility in which we make ourselves look lower for the purpose of baiting others to build us up. Like when someone gives you a complement and you say things like, "I am not that good." Then the person comes back and says with greater enthusiasm and more numerous words to how much they appreciate you. 

There are those who understand humility as when you are being humiliated. For instance it takes a humble person to sit on the chair and be "roasted". Giving people an opportunity to "knock you down a peg" in order to then to honor you is another version of false humility. Because ultimately the roast is esteeming the work or the person. 

C.S. Lewis said, "Humility is not thinking less of yourself but thinking of yourself less." 

This is why humility is at the heart of Christian spirituality. We are called children of God impressed with the divine spark of grace. We are not to think less of ourselves for we would be thinking less of the creator and the image that is in us. Rather we are to die to ourselves in order that another, Christ, may live in and through us. Humility is the practice of putting another (Christ, neighbor, enemy, etc.) as the center of our thoughts and actions. 

Waiting for God's New Thing: Why Better Isn't Good Enough

In his monograph Gil Rendle talks about the difference between improving and creating and the need for the Church to do both simultaneously. The Church has to improve practices, become more efficient, streamline in order to address the needs of those who are "affiliated" with the Church. At the same time the Church must also change the way we are working, do things differently and do new things in order to address the needs of those who are "unaffiliated" with the Church. 

If you consider this paradox you will quickly see that the process to improve something is different from the process to create something new. It would be like asking Apple to create a new iPhone while at the same time create a automobile. Every local congregation that I have served in is able to do one or the other - we can either improve or create - but we are unequipped to do both at the same time. And this leads the the heart of the problem the Church faces: 

"You can't lead efforts of creating without being credentials as a leader. At the same time, it is hard for credentials credentialed leaders to see the need for the deep change of creating."

It is a feedback loop that leaves the Church stagnate. I do not know the way forward. All I know to do is wait for God's new thing and hope that I am of The Way but never in the way.