That homeless preacher story and obesity

There is a little story (factual or not) going around Facebook these days about a new preacher who "disguised himself" as a homeless person and slept on the steps of the church the night before his first Sunday in the pulpit. As people gathered for worship, no one assisted the homeless man and everyone was shocked when the reveal came. The preacher, still in rags and unclean status, tells the congregation they are just a collection of people and not disciples of Jesus since they did not love their "homeless" neighbor. The preacher dismisses the congregation until next Sunday. 

Some find it inspirational. Others feel justified in their thoughts that Christians are hypocrites who say love your neighbor but ignore the homeless. Others feel justified in their thoughts that Christianity is more about doing rather than worshiping.

To add to the mix of emotions, I will echo others who have expressed a sadness in the preacher of this story.  Primarily how the preacher uses shame to "teach" the congregation. 

We like to think that shaming people works to change behavior. It has been my experience that those who think shame works are those who have never been shamed in any real or lasting way. It also seems that the times when I fall into thinking shaming works it is when I am at my most arrogant and self righteous moments. Shame is generally only invoked by those who not only feel they are in the right and that others are in the wrong but that those in the wrong need to be made feel less than human.  

Shame is the tool we use when we are our most self centered.  

Take for instance a different example of shame in our culture - shaming the obese in order to get them to "get in shape". Whelp, it turns out shaming the obese actually backfires according to a new study. Taken from the abstract: 

Participants who experienced weight discrimination were approximately 2.5 times more likely to become obese by follow-up and participants who were obese at baseline were three times more likely to remain obese at follow up than those who had not experienced such discrimination. The present research demonstrates that, in addition to poorer mental health outcomes, weight discrimination has implications for obesity. Rather than motivating individuals to lose weight, weight discrimination increases risk for obesity.

It is worth going on record to say that shaming is not a tool of a disciple of Christ. Shame creates division and resentment. Shame hides our own self-righteousness. And, at least when it comes the helping people to move toward greater health, it is counter productive. 

How learning Spanish teaches me about prayer

For the past two weeks I have been kicking the tires on this little app called Duolingo. 

The gist of the site is that you can learn a language for free and as you become more proficient in that language you can actually work to translate the web into another language. 

Yes, you can help translate the entire interwebs. If your mind is not blown by this concept and learning model then I am unsure what would.  

Here is the thing, a co--worker of mine speaks Spanish and is excited to hear that I a trying to learn. She is encouraging and talks to me in Spanish. She asks me questions and asks me to speak to her in Spanish.

 She is so darn happy and excited that someone else is trying to learn her native language and taking an interest in her culture. She is excited that she has the opportunity to share what she knows and takes great joy out of helping me speak her native tongue.

I should be excited and encouraged by her joy and energy. I should feel safe to speak the 93 words of broken Spanish I can cobble together.

But all I feel is embarrassed.  

The insecure part of me convinces me that I should not speak Spanish unless I can speak it as a native speaker. I should not speak Spanish because I will make a mistake and muck it all up. I will look like a fool and an idiot in the company of other Spanish speakers. 

All of this made me think about when I encounter someone who is a beginner in prayer. That is to say, someone who may feel comfortable praying on their own but embarrassed to pray aloud. Who might feel that they should not or cannot pray aloud in the presence of others who might be more fluent in the language of prayer and so they do not practice the language. Who are surrounded by people telling them that it is okay if they make a mistake because everyone knows they are still learning, and yet still is embarrassed.

Perhaps it all boils down to becoming vulnerable when we are speaking a language that is new to us. When we speak the new language we put ourselves out there in a way that everyone can see our inadequacies, failures, struggles and ignorance. 

And so, how do you get someone to be confident and courageous enough to speak a new language in the presence of others? How do you make a space safe enough for all the insecurities we all carry can be put down and we can feel comfortable practicing our Spanish (or Prayer) language?

How many more times will you see your parents?

It is difficult to cherish moments that feel like they will be there forever. I take for granted my ability to breathe until I am choking. I take for granted my ability to walk until my back goes out. I take for granted that my parents will be there, until they are not.  

For the past 3 out of 5 years, I have participated with my parents in the National Day of Listening which is great and I highly recommend.  

Recently I came across this little site (seeyourfolks.com) which uses 2011 World Health Organisation Life Expectancy Data to run a little equation. 

You plug in where you live, age of your parents, and how often you see them in a year. The next screen gives you an average number of times you will see them before they die. 

It is just another way to put into preservative the vaporness of life. 

How many more times do you have?