How learning Spanish teaches me about prayer

For the past two weeks I have been kicking the tires on this little app called Duolingo. 

The gist of the site is that you can learn a language for free and as you become more proficient in that language you can actually work to translate the web into another language. 

Yes, you can help translate the entire interwebs. If your mind is not blown by this concept and learning model then I am unsure what would.  

Here is the thing, a co--worker of mine speaks Spanish and is excited to hear that I a trying to learn. She is encouraging and talks to me in Spanish. She asks me questions and asks me to speak to her in Spanish.

 She is so darn happy and excited that someone else is trying to learn her native language and taking an interest in her culture. She is excited that she has the opportunity to share what she knows and takes great joy out of helping me speak her native tongue.

I should be excited and encouraged by her joy and energy. I should feel safe to speak the 93 words of broken Spanish I can cobble together.

But all I feel is embarrassed.  

The insecure part of me convinces me that I should not speak Spanish unless I can speak it as a native speaker. I should not speak Spanish because I will make a mistake and muck it all up. I will look like a fool and an idiot in the company of other Spanish speakers. 

All of this made me think about when I encounter someone who is a beginner in prayer. That is to say, someone who may feel comfortable praying on their own but embarrassed to pray aloud. Who might feel that they should not or cannot pray aloud in the presence of others who might be more fluent in the language of prayer and so they do not practice the language. Who are surrounded by people telling them that it is okay if they make a mistake because everyone knows they are still learning, and yet still is embarrassed.

Perhaps it all boils down to becoming vulnerable when we are speaking a language that is new to us. When we speak the new language we put ourselves out there in a way that everyone can see our inadequacies, failures, struggles and ignorance. 

And so, how do you get someone to be confident and courageous enough to speak a new language in the presence of others? How do you make a space safe enough for all the insecurities we all carry can be put down and we can feel comfortable practicing our Spanish (or Prayer) language?

How many more times will you see your parents?

It is difficult to cherish moments that feel like they will be there forever. I take for granted my ability to breathe until I am choking. I take for granted my ability to walk until my back goes out. I take for granted that my parents will be there, until they are not.  

For the past 3 out of 5 years, I have participated with my parents in the National Day of Listening which is great and I highly recommend.  

Recently I came across this little site (seeyourfolks.com) which uses 2011 World Health Organisation Life Expectancy Data to run a little equation. 

You plug in where you live, age of your parents, and how often you see them in a year. The next screen gives you an average number of times you will see them before they die. 

It is just another way to put into preservative the vaporness of life. 

How many more times do you have? 

Moses kills a bunch of people in the name of God?

Participating in a Bible study this week and these verses came into the conversation:

25 When Moses saw that the people were running wild (for Aaron had let them run wild, to the derision of their enemies), 26 then Moses stood in the gate of the camp, and said, ‘Who is on the Lord’s side? Come to me!’ And all the sons of Levi gathered around him. 27 He said to them, ‘Thus says the Lord, the God of Israel, “Put your sword on your side, each of you! Go back and forth from gate to gate throughout the camp, and each of you kill your brother, your friend, and your neighbor.” ’28 The sons of Levi did as Moses commanded, and about three thousand of the people fell on that day. 29 Moses said, ‘Today you have ordained yourselves for the service of the Lord, each one at the cost of a son or a brother, and so have brought a blessing on yourselves this day.’ 30 On the next day Moses said to the people, ‘You have sinned a great sin. But now I will go up to the Lord; perhaps I can make atonement for your sin.’ 31 So Moses returned to the Lord and said, ‘Alas, this people has sinned a great sin; they have made for themselves gods of gold. 32 But now, if you will only forgive their sin—but if not, blot me out of the book that you have written.’ 33 But the Lord said to Moses, ‘Whoever has sinned against me I will blot out of my book. 34 But now go, lead the people to the place about which I have spoken to you; see, my angel shall go in front of you. Nevertheless, when the day comes for punishment, I will punish them for their sin.’ 35 Then the Lord sent a plague on the people, because they made the calf—the one that Aaron made.

Kinda messed up. 

First off, it is worth noting in previous verses God wanted to destroy the people but then Moses talks God into changing God's mind. And so in verse 14 God changes God's mind and does not consume the people. 

But then you get Moses coming down the mountain and seeing all this "running wild" and gets those who are on "God's side" to kill those who are not on "God's side". Of course Moses commands all this under the declaration of "Thus says the Lord." Again, God just changed God's mind, God will not destroy the people. 

Could it be that this action, is the sin of Moses? Moses calls for a killing of people in order to purify the ranks and then tells the now 'pure' people, "Hey the sin we saw happen was rather big and we destroyed the people who were the problem. I will go up and talk with God to make an atonement and set all this right again. Just wait here." 

Moses goes up and says to God - please forgive us as we sat by and allowed this golden calf to be created. If you would not forgive us, then kill me as a way to appease your anger. 

God says - Moses, I will take care of those who sin against me in my own way (whatever it means to be blotted from the book), I will punish them through a plague. In case you forgot I said I did not want to destroy the people then you go down and kill all these people! What the heck are you doing?! This is not what I said and here you go putting my seal on your actions. I do not desire these people to die, but it seems you did.  

I know I am taking some artistic licence here, but I struggle with the idea that God says God will not destroy then Moses goes down and kills 3000 people in the name of God. Did Moses sin and kill a bunch of people in the name of God?