self esteem

Inward/Outward connection

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My previous post spoke about defining oneself as what you are rather than what you are not.

This morning, I boot up the computer to read the blog-o-sphere and this little jewel posted on Inward/Outward popped up.

I could not have said it better myself.


The truth is, until we have taken the time to discover and affirm who we really are and what we really want, we are left with only negative identities and negative passion. We define ourselves by what we are against, and so have negative, not creative, passion. We need something to rebel against or we don't feel like we exist. We need someone to rebel against or we don't feel passionate about anything.... We are comfortable with rebelling, but fearful of creating.
Source: 



God's "Looks"

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Currently I am reading a book entitled "Looks: Why They Matter More Than You Think". It is a rather interesting social science book that examines the value you and I place on physical attractiveness (PA). I ran across this little bit in the book and could not help but think of a question. Here is the quote:

"What effect does watching an endless parade of such woman have on the psyches of young girls who can never hope to look like Britney Spears? What becomes of African American women, for example, as they grow to adulthood bombarded, almost exclusively, with this "all America" beauty ideal? The "are immediately excluded from what is considered to be 'beautiful,'" writes researcher Karen Perkins of Australia's Key Center for Cultural and Media Policy."

The question that came to me after reading this was:

What effect does watching an endless parade of such God images on the psyches of young girls who can never hope to hear God spoken about as a female? What becomes of of African Americans, for example, as they grow to adulthood bombarded, almost exclusively, with this "white male" idea of God?

This thought comes on the heals of my wife's experience during a lunch in Arlington.

Just another white stiff in worship... me.

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I am sitting in worship and we are singing a song titled "Soon, and Very Soon." (Although not like this exactly here is the song for reference).



All we sang was the chorus three or four times. I was next to Nancy Allen and as the congregation sang along I had this deep feeling to stand up and clap. I was actually jumping at the bit to get the congregation to stand, clap and sing along in order to get a new feeling/emotion/energy into the life of the community. But I just sat there. Why??? I am one of the worship leaders and am I not called to give the community permission to worship in countless ways? Why would I reserve myself?

Is it a personal image thing?
Do I not want to 'look' like an idiot?
Do I not embrace my pastoral authority?
Am I afraid I will anger those whom I feel are "in charge"?

I turned to Nancy and told her my feeling of wanting to stand and clap, she said she felt the same thing! We vowed to each other we would not allow that to happen again and if we feel like standing and clapping, damn it, we are going to stand and clap!

Research on the sexualization of girls

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From the September/October 2008 Youth Worker Journal
“See Jane Deal with Her Body. How You Can Address the Sexualization of Today’s Girls”

• Mothers are competing with their daughters to look good or sexy.
• The efforts to help girls “stay pure” might be too focused on avoiding specific behaviors and not focused enough on a deeper transformation of hearts and attitudes toward sexuality.
• Sports are a double edge sword: they boost self esteem, but there is a lot of popular media overwhelming sexualizing women’s sports.
• Self esteem is directly linked to materialism: as self esteem falls, materialism sky rockets; and vise versa.