When I think about it I am a little afraid of the outside influences on my sons. I think about the "quality" of his teachers, friends, coaches and other influences. I ponder what movies are appropriate and how much "screen time" they should have because, I tell myself, I want to find positive role models and good influences in my sons' life.
Which is true.
But is also sort of masks a little truth which is if I allow all sorts of influences in my son's life that I can control then that means there is a possibility that my influence on him will shrink. It is the diminishment of me that is a big reason that I am able to find all sorts of reasons why my son cannot hang out with those people, have that teacher/coach, participate in that club/trip/experience and/or have too much screen time.
Both of my sons teach me things everyday and I continue to be in awe at their curiosity and innocence. What I was unprepared for are the things that my sons reveal in me through my actions as a parent. And one of these revelations parenthood reveals to me is how much I idolize myself.
It is convenient that I always have concerns about how other people and things influence my sons but I rarely have any concern about my influence on him. The Bible speaks about elevating yourself over others. Jesus speaks about removing the plank in our own eye before talking about the speck in others. Putting myself at the center of my sons' lives is just another way that I am reminded of just how far I have to mature to be able to die to myself.