The Only Reason Questions Are Not Good

Most of the time I support asking questions. Questions are helpful to not only broaden understanding and bring clarity; but also to build relationships. When you encounter a curious person asking you about your life, chances are you will find the person asking you about your life to be a person who makes you feel good. And we all want to be around people who make us fell good. Questions are helpful in so many ways that oftentimes, we overlook one way that questions are not good:

The only reason questions are not good is when questions justify non-action.

When getting ready for the day or at bedtime, children will ask all sorts of questions in an attempt to delay action. It is cute when they are asking questions about what is going to happen later that day or when they ask questions about the story that was just read; however it is also a subtle delaying action. 

Asking questions as a way to delay action is nefarious in that the one asking the questions is able to claim that they are "only asking questions."  Since we put such a high value on questions, we might feel like we are wrong to stop the questions in order to induce action.

I have witnessed people who will continually ask questions of themselves to the point of non-action (AKA paralysis by analysis). This sort of question to non-action pattern is also a bit tricky to internally address. It feels like you are doing something by asking the questions. Only you know if you are really just delaying actions you don't want to take. 

The reality is, questions are very good, but they are abused when employed to justify non-action.

Come & See, Sit & Stay, Go & Share

The United Methodist Church, in some areas of the denomination, are freaking out over the decline of membership and participation. I get it. It is concerning to those of us who have our have become dependent on a paycheck from worshiping communities.

There are many who have suggestions on what is needed for a church to "turn around" participation and engagement. Of those suggestions, the idea of having a "discipleship path" has gained a lot of traction. A discipleship path is just a technical name of describing how a local church helps guide people into deeper relationship with Christ. There is much to be desired when talking about a discipleship path. Making a disciple is not like making a car on an assembly line, but there are many who are doing good work on this effort. 

After looking over several different discipleship paths, it seems that they are built on a common pattern - 1) Come and See, 2) Sit and Stay, 3) Go and Share.

The point in sharing this is that if you find yourself looking for a way to grow deeper in relationship with Christ, I submit this pattern:

1. Come and See - Jesus is calling you to see things that require you to leave your comfort zone (examples: worship, service with others, study, etc.)  
2. Sit and Stay - Once we arrive, it is important to sit and stay. As Abba Moses said, "Sit in your cell and your cell will teach you all that you need to know." (examples: meditation, prayer, discernment, etc.)
3. Go and Share - If we do not share with others then our spiritual formation is nothing but self-help (examples: teaching, evangelism, service with others, etc.)

Stop Taking Time

When you attend a clergy session, there is a lot of talk about the need for self care. There are many expressions of self care, but they all are framed the same way. Take time for prayer. Take time to study. Take time to rest. Take time for vacation. Take time for Sabbath. 

We are encouraged to "take time" - which I think might be part of the problem.

"Taking time" assumes that time is zero-sum. If we take time from one area (sermon prep) then we will have less time in another area (pastoral care). The idea of "taking time" assumes that if we don't take it then we will never get it - if we don't take time for prayer then prayer will not happen. "Taking time" gives us the impression that if we only were better at taking time then life would be better. 

Of course, "taking time" is a metaphor. One cannot literally take time like you can take a cookie from the jar, and when we try to take time, we come up short. Rather than using the metaphor of "taking" time, I would remind you that Christianity offers a different metaphor - receiving time. 

Time is a gift that we receive. Time is a gift that we trust will be present when we need it. Time is a gift that we can receive, but we can never take.

When we receive time, time is no longer zero-sum. When we receive time we understand that when we are doing one thing, there will be enough time for other things.

Shifting or metaphor from "taking" to "receiving" is not just semantics, it is a part of our spiritual formation. It is part of the reason I do not take communion.