8 Years Later and I Still Fear Blogging

Blogging has taken a backseat in the world of Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. It is not that people do not read it is just that blogging is difficult to get any traction in such a noisy internet. For over eight years I have been plodding away on this blog and I have learned a few things.

• Blogger is for PC people, Wordpress is for Apple people and Squarespace is greatness
• Mailchimp is also greatness
• I might be able to build a larger audience if I used Adwords and/or better posts
• Shorter posts are read and shared more than longer ones
• People love lists
• Post titles matter a lot
• Images help
• Building an email list is very helpful to see what is "connecting"
• Post to Facebook and Twitter

Beyond the blogging specific stuff I have learned more about myself than I ever imaged. Perhaps the most important point of self discovery is how much I fear blogging. Specifically how much I fear putting thoughts on "paper" in a public way. I am not a great speller. I am not disciplined in writing and distracted often contributing to mistakes. I did not pick up the basic principles of sentence structure and am not sure what a preposition is. These errors are brought to my attention by someone with some consistency and no matter how much I try to be better I seem to plateau on ability. Each published post is laden with fear and trepidation that I often cloister up for weeks on end and don't write anything (that has happened more this year than any year so far). 

Eight years later and I still fear blogging because of how it exposes so many of my insecurities and inadequacies. Blogging is a practice in humility and a practice that is most formative to me than other areas of my life (except parenting which is just a series of failed attempts to live into the very ideals that I want my children to live into). 

I write this all to say that if you fear something about yourself and you want to "get over it" I am not sure that is the point. I believe the point of the fears in our lives is not to run from them or to "get over them" but to learn from them. Fears are some of the greatest gifts we can receive because they teach us more than we could ever imagine. If it is possible to embrace that which you fear, I would encourage you to do so. You may still fear it, but it will teach you something you need to know.

Prayer - "In Like a Lion Out Like a Lamb"

A parishioner of the church that I serve shared this image with me. Additionally he shared some remarks which are in the caption.

"Somebody posted this picture in a group I follow as part of a conversation about prayer group. The person who posted it was, I believe, critical of the image. My thought as soon as I saw it was that the pictures should be opposite: shouldn't prayer be a humbling experience?"

The member, named Thomas, makes the astute observation that prayer is a practice of humility and that we often don't associate humility with lions. Of course, this is a metaphor and all metaphors breakdown at some degree of reflection. If I were to add to Thomas' point it would be that prayer is neither lion or kitten but both.

There are times in my life where prayer has given me the strength to move into the brave new world. It is clear that those who are enslaved or in exile or refugees or many other conditions that strength or pride or courage is needed. Prayer, at times, can help us see the inner strength God has given. However, for the most part, I need less roar and more purr, so to speak. 

If thought of only a tool to strengthen and empower, then prayer is only thought of as something that is 'helpful" when we are in the valley of the shadow of death. However, and perhaps more importantly, we need to pray when we are at our most prideful.

God As Projectile

Peter Rollins continues to be a great source of life and energy for my theological reflection and thinking and I am thankful for his life and ministry. Recently I heard him speak on a podcast about how some think that God is merely a projection of our fears, desires and beings into the heavens. And to bring the point even closer to home for Christians, he makes the point that denominations are often failing because denominations are many times just projecting what they think God is compared to other denominations.

Rollins reminds us that God is less projection and more projectile that shatters our projections of God. The Taoist tradition has this line in their sacred writings:

The Tao that can be told is not the eternal Tao; The name that can be named is not the eternal name.

Within the tradition I practice we say of God in Christ is:

"The name which is above all names'

The point being that when we give God a name we are only casting a projection. I agree that some projections are clearer than others, but a projection non the less. The True God is less a projection and more projectile that shatters our projections. The moment we try to name God, put God in some theological framework (AKA: a box) or project God we are missing the power of what/who is God.

Finally, Rollins makes note that the beauty of denominations is that the word "denomination" means to "de-name" something. Denominations, when at their best, are doing the work of de-naming God so that God is no longer a projection. The act of de-naming God is scary and even dangerous to some, however in only be de-naming God do we come to an even deeper and fuller trust in that which cannot be named because our projections of God becomes smashed.