Love from Truth or Truth from Love?

Since the United Methodist Church's General Conference in Portland, Oregon I have been reading and listening more than I have been writing as a way to better understand my sisters and brothers around the connection who hold different positions than I do. It has been a mentally and spiritually exhausting discipline and through this work, I believe I am drawing closer to a foundational difference in Christ's church. I will phrase it in a question: 

“Pilate asked him, ‘What is truth?’

Go and learn what this means, “I desire mercy, not sacrifice.” For I have come to call not the righteous but sinners.’”

— John 18:38 and Matthew 9:13

Does Love come from Truth or does Truth come from Love? 

If love comes from truth then truth effects the expression of love. For instance, the person on the street corner with a megaphone or those who make videos trying to convince others of a truth are (in my experience) doing these actions not out of judgement but out of love. The megaphone preacher has a love for people and fears that people are going to hell. As an act of love driven by this understanding of truth, the person stands and yells in order to get people's attention. One preacher told me that if you saw someone walking into the street and they did not see a bus coming down on them, wouldn't you yell about the bus to the person? There are a number of videos put out by groups in the UMC that are operating out of this understanding of what is fundamental. Their love for others, Christ and his church are such is rooted in a Truth that drives their actions. 

However I have noticed there are others who see truth comes from love. That is that love is the primary or foundation of action and that truth is in service of love. Which means that there would be times when truth might be withheld or not shared or even hidden in order to more fully express love. When someone comes into my office and asks why did their beloved get run over by a bus I don't tell them the truth that their beloved was drunk as a skunk and wandered into the street and due to the full impact of a two ton bus their body could not handle their heart stopped. While this may be true, this is not the response that is needed. Rather a shared weeping and mourning is the response. 

Some might say that Truth and Love are one in the same, that they are both needed and required. That in fact, Truth and Love are inseparable. Scripture is cited and stories of Jesus are shared in order to make the case. I get it, perhaps they are correct. But for as many scriptures they cite, I can cite that many more on how love stands alone and that all things flow from it and it has no equal. I can make the Biblical case that Truth comes from Love, but in me doing that I become a person who acts like love comes from truth. I have a truth that I want to convince others and try to do it as loving as I can, but in the end my loving actions are filtered through a desire to communicate truth. 

Therein lies the problem that I struggle with my more zealous sisters and brothers on the left and right. When Truth is the primary value we are not able to hear one another. We are too busy trying to convince each other, as loving as we can, what is correct or true. 

My friend and colleague Rev. Ryan Kiblinger is a wonderful witness for me. He and I disagree on theological and social issues and yet I could not find a better example of a person who can practice disagreement with great love as his foundation. Be it on social media or in person Rev. Kiblinger is a person who I give thanks to God for because at his core he lives out a Truth from Love. I hope to also be a person who lives with the foundation of Love - even if that comes at the expense of Truth.

Clashing Shepherds: Leadership in the UMC and a Way Forward

For some, leadership looks like the shepherd out in front of a flock. This shepherd carries with them a staff they use to defend the flock. The shepherd has a vision and is going in a direction that the sheep are to follow. Some sheep may wander away and that is okay to this shepherd because this shepherd has a vision of what a flock can look like and only has energy for those sheep that can keep up.

Others view this idea of leadership to be less than ideal because there are many sheep that are lost and left behind. This second view of leadership is like that shepherd that takes time to ensure that every sheep is in the flock. This might look like a a pastor making house calls to every member to ensure that everyone is okay and tended to. This "lead from the back" shepherd keeps an eye on every sheep and pushes them forward as best as the shepherd can. 

For most of my ministry these two versions of leadership have dominated. There is the pastor as CEO (lead from the front) and the pastor as caretaker (lead from the back). Both of these types of leadership are called for at times however, these forms of leadership are no longer as helpful in the current time we live in. When things like collaboration, vulnerability, authenticity, and transparency are values of the day, leading from the front or back creates more problems than they solve. 

The third way of leadership is not by leading from the front or the back but among.

This style of leadership is frustrating because you will loose sheep, you cannot protect them all, you are not totally in control of the direction or pace and you are among the smells and biting of the flock. However, it is this style of leadership that is called for in our time: leading among. 

The Bishops "A Way Forward" is, I believe, a leading from among. It is not perfect. It has the same weaknesses such as loosing some of the flock and not being completely in control. However, it also is an attempt to uphold the values of collaboration, vulnerability, authenticity, and transparency.

No one is surprised that there is disagreement in the UMC on the issues of human sexuality. What is a bit surprising to some is the disagreement on what sort of leadership is needed in our time.

The UMC has clashing shepherds.

#OrlandoUnited - Facing Limitations and Inadequacies

While reading a number of painful responses to the homophobic terrorist attack in Orlando Florida and reading about the victims, I find myself at a loss for words. I struggle to find words to address the pain and injustice and evil of this situation. I am not a member of the LGBT community and I live miles away from this tragic event which give me pause to ask if it is even appropriate to add my words to the conversation. So I stay quiet. In doing so St. Antony comes to mind:

‘He who sits alone and is quiet has escaped from three wars: hearing, speaking, seeing: but there is one thing against which he must continually fight: that is, his own heart.’

I have no connection to this event. I am disturbed and appalled by the actions taken by a sick man with an easily acquired arsenal of weapons. I do not know what to do. So I sit alone and remain quite. Not because I condone such violence or that I am not heartbroken, but to humbly admit that I do not know the way forward. I am confronted with my own limitations and inadequacies knowing that I still feel unequipped to be a man, husband, father, pastor for the world that we live in.

Lord in your mercy.