"Open Carry" Is Not About Guns

Here in Texas we have a legal situation where one with a gun licence can now carry their approved gun(s) out in the open. While this law is new, I have yet to see things here in Texas look like the Hollywood imagery of the wild west where people walked around with holsters ready for duels at the O.K. Corral.  

The struggle that I have had with open carry is not the proliferation of guns or the access to guns or the defense of the second amendment or any other political expression. Frankly, my struggle is around what is assumed in the symbol of open carry laws.

One of the things that open carry laws assume is that a gun gives one a sense of control over their life. The scenarios that I have heard supporting the need for a person to carry a gun are around protection of a potential victim(s). The gun symbolizes a strong sense that one can be in control of the world and what happens to them. That even if something chaotic happens, like a shooter in a movie theater, then those with guns can exert some control over the situation. 

The desire for control in the world is as primal as desires come. We all have a deep need to be able to have some control over our lives. There is a peace that comes with knowing that you can do things to affect the world around you. The desire for some sense of control is reasonable, normal and natural. There are few things in this world that give a sense of control than that of a gun. It has become the ultimate symbol of a sense of control - which may be why America continues to build more weapons even though American military power is unmatched. 

And so for all that open carry means, it seems to me that at the deepest levels, open carry is not about guns. It is about a sense of control.

Much of my faith formation over these years has revolved around Jesus. Specifically how at every turn of the story of Jesus there is a story, parable, teaching or sign of letting go of control and trusting in the Spirit of God to move in the world. From Jesus submitting to be baptized by his cousin, to not arguing with his mother at a wedding, to constantly being interrupted by children and even bleeding women, to praying "thy will be done", to allowing himself to be handed over, Jesus is constantly showing us to give up the pursuit of control. 

When I study that life of Jesus I see not a pursuit of control but a pursuit of surrender. Rather than promoting open carry I am inclined to promote open arms. Like the arms of Jesus open to the children coming toward him to the arms of Jesus on the cross open as the nails are driven through them, the open arms of surrender is the posture I desire. 

My first step is to give up pursuit of control. 

 

*Just a word, I recognize that I write this from a position from power and one who is often able to exert more control of my surroundings than many if not most people in the world. I do not know what it is like to be in a position of powerlessness or totally out of control. Therefore, I submit the limitations of my view as one who may only need to be addressing others who also are in positions of power. 

Forget my name. That is okay. But don't forget that I am...

Within the bible is a story about Moses encountering God. It is a more iconic story you may have heard of it. In this story Moses asks God what God's name is. Specifically Moses wants to tell others that he was sent by a powerful God named _____! God responds with the phrase loosely translated as "I am what I am." 

The idea that God claims the name of "I am" is important in a number of ways in the bible, but perhaps one of the unappreciated ways is that "I am" is how humans introduce themselves to one another. "Hello, I am Jason. It is nice to meet you." 

In our culture we place a lot of emphasis on learning people's names. It is important. However, when we place the emphasis on the individual name of the person, we miss that when we introduce ourselves we are invoking the "I am" phrase. To put it another way, when we introduce ourselves we are reminding others that while I have a unique name, I also carry the name of God (I am) with me. And so do you. 

I am Jason. I have within me a mark, reside, spark of the divine. And so do you. While we may have different names, we all share the same "I am".

You can forget my name. That is okay. But don't forget that "I am" is in all of us and that we ought to treat each other as such. 

Why I do not write a thank you cards at Christmas

It was something that my mother made me do every time I received a gift, and I came to loath it: The thank you note.

Over time I came to have a greater appreciation for the handwritten thank you note and I took up this practice much more regularly (although I would like to do more of this).

However, over the past several years I have stopped writing thank you notes at Christmas. I know, this may be the worst idea ever but this is why. 

Christmas is a season that declares that there was a gift given by God that you and I did not deserve or earn. And that there is nothing that you and I can do to destroy that gift. This gift of Grace and Love in Christ is something that we call Good News. Christmas is a season that invites us all to be humble enough to receive. 

Receiving something as simple as a compliment , is difficult for me because I do one of two things - downplay or deflect. I will downplay the compliment as something that was not a big deal or something someone else could have done much better. Or I will deflect the compliment by turning your comment about me into a compliment about you. I am a black belt compliment deflector. 

The downplay and deflect is also a move that gives me the power in the situation. I disarm your words and I end up with the upper hand where I can then turn this away from me and back to you. When I do these moves I retain a position of strength and do not become vulnerable. 

Christmas is the one season that I try very hard NOT to write thank you notes for these reasons. I need to practice humility and vulnerability. I need to learn to just accept and receive. I do not need to be the powerful one or the one who always has the last word.

It is uncomfortable to not express thank you beyond a simple two words and a hug. I have been conditioned to believe that that is not a complete thank you but only a prelude. The "real" thank you is not complete until that hand written note comes. Thus giving me the final word, giving me the ability to downplay and deflect, and ensuring that I am never vulnerable.

Being vulnerable is not my favorite thing. It is not something that comes easily to me, nor is it something that I have mastered. What I know is that we all need to be more vulnerable and more humble and more willing to receive. 

That is why I do not write thank you cards at Christmas. 

Vomit on you and me

I get angry. I know it is not something that is becoming of a minister, but I do. I get angry at things like Sin and injustice. I also get angry at people doing a half ass job or when I do not  meet my own deadlines. 

There are a number of people who have given me advice on what to do when I get angry at another. Some tell me to lean into that anger. Others tell me to forgive. Others tell me to ignore it. Others say anger at another is really just anger in myself displaced. 

What I am learning is that when I am angry I am quick to pop off and spew my anger on another. It is not healthy and I have gotten much better, however I can use my words to really cover someone with my anger. 

The truth is that when I have done this in the past, I feel better for a little bit then I look down and see that in spewing my anger at another I covered myself in my own hate vomit. I have covered another and myself with sickness and toxicity.

And you know, it takes a while to get all that cleaned up.