Why I do not write a thank you cards at Christmas

It was something that my mother made me do every time I received a gift, and I came to loath it: The thank you note.

Over time I came to have a greater appreciation for the handwritten thank you note and I took up this practice much more regularly (although I would like to do more of this).

However, over the past several years I have stopped writing thank you notes at Christmas. I know, this may be the worst idea ever but this is why. 

Christmas is a season that declares that there was a gift given by God that you and I did not deserve or earn. And that there is nothing that you and I can do to destroy that gift. This gift of Grace and Love in Christ is something that we call Good News. Christmas is a season that invites us all to be humble enough to receive. 

Receiving something as simple as a compliment , is difficult for me because I do one of two things - downplay or deflect. I will downplay the compliment as something that was not a big deal or something someone else could have done much better. Or I will deflect the compliment by turning your comment about me into a compliment about you. I am a black belt compliment deflector. 

The downplay and deflect is also a move that gives me the power in the situation. I disarm your words and I end up with the upper hand where I can then turn this away from me and back to you. When I do these moves I retain a position of strength and do not become vulnerable. 

Christmas is the one season that I try very hard NOT to write thank you notes for these reasons. I need to practice humility and vulnerability. I need to learn to just accept and receive. I do not need to be the powerful one or the one who always has the last word.

It is uncomfortable to not express thank you beyond a simple two words and a hug. I have been conditioned to believe that that is not a complete thank you but only a prelude. The "real" thank you is not complete until that hand written note comes. Thus giving me the final word, giving me the ability to downplay and deflect, and ensuring that I am never vulnerable.

Being vulnerable is not my favorite thing. It is not something that comes easily to me, nor is it something that I have mastered. What I know is that we all need to be more vulnerable and more humble and more willing to receive. 

That is why I do not write thank you cards at Christmas. 

Vomit on you and me

I get angry. I know it is not something that is becoming of a minister, but I do. I get angry at things like Sin and injustice. I also get angry at people doing a half ass job or when I do not  meet my own deadlines. 

There are a number of people who have given me advice on what to do when I get angry at another. Some tell me to lean into that anger. Others tell me to forgive. Others tell me to ignore it. Others say anger at another is really just anger in myself displaced. 

What I am learning is that when I am angry I am quick to pop off and spew my anger on another. It is not healthy and I have gotten much better, however I can use my words to really cover someone with my anger. 

The truth is that when I have done this in the past, I feel better for a little bit then I look down and see that in spewing my anger at another I covered myself in my own hate vomit. I have covered another and myself with sickness and toxicity.

And you know, it takes a while to get all that cleaned up. 

Will Rogers: Time Traveler

Will Rogers is one of those people that was seen to represent the common man. Growing up in Oklahoma, not known for being the most flashy of states, Rogers became a voice that rang true in his time as well as ours. Here are just a few of these timeless pearls of wisdom from "Oklahoma's Favorite Son":

Lord, the money we do spend on Government and it's not one bit better than the government we got for one-third the money twenty years ago.

The money was all appropriated for the top in the hopes that it would trickle down to the needy. Mr. Hoover was an engineer. He knew that water trickled down. Put it uphill and let it go and it will reach the dryest little spot. But he dident know that money trickled up. Give it to the people at the bottom and the people at the top will have it before night anyhow. But it will at least have passed through the poor fellow’s hands. They saved the big banks but the little ones went up the flue.

When the Judgment Day comes civilization will have an alibi, "I never took a human life, I only sold the fellow the gun to take it with.

Heroing is one of the shortest-lived professions there is.

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.

The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.