My young adult has left the Church (part 2)

This is a little series of posts I put out in 2010, at the time they were helpful for a number of people, I hope that continues to be true today.

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Not that anyone has been waiting with baited breath on these next thoughts, but I did want to continue to share the things I have heard to be helpful for parents of young adults who have left the church or Christianity. If you did not get a chance to read the first part of the conversation you can find part one just below this post. Here is another action to consider...

Share your Story in your local church or small groups. I promise there is someone else in your groups who share your story (albeit will different characters and little nuances). I had a parent tell me about their son leaving church and the next Sunday another parent in the same Sunday School class told me of their son leaving church. The thing was, neither parent knew about the other and how similar their stories were! When you share your story you will not only find others who share your feelings, but you will also give courage to others around you to talk about things which might have once been taboo. When you share your story you help break down the plastic faces we have been taught to bring to church (by the way, these plastic faces are what many young people are rejecting). Share your Story.

My young adult has left the Church (part 1)

This is a little series of posts I put out in 2010, at the time they were helpful for a number of people, I hope that continues to be true today.

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Over the past many months I have been approached by several parents of young adults who have, in some form or fashion, rejected the Church or the Christian religion in some form. I am sure it is because I am of the same cohort of their child or because I am a minister or these parents love their child or (more likely) a combination of reasons, these wonderful parents ask for guidance. After many conversations with parents who tell me the same story (albeit with different characters and little nuances) it has given me cause to write down what I have been sharing with these parents. This is not a formula on "how to get your kid back in church". Nor is it by any means going to be 100% effective in all situations, but generally speaking, I have found these steps to be a good starting point for these parents (or so they have shared with me).

1) If you have a child who is leaving church or religion, do not panic. This may be difficult to do in the moment, but panic is a reaction and in a "status update/twitter" world, reactions are all young people get and know how to fuel (with more shock). Do not panic.

This might be enough for right now. Check back in two days and I will post the other actions I have found to be helpful for adults who find themselves at a loss with their young adult.

The Bible is not Meant to be Read

I have been told that the Bible is boring. Maybe it is. I have a difficult time seeing how a book that is thousands of years old is not boring. Telling the story of how I brush my teeth is boring, it is why no one writes down all their teeth brushing experiences. Perhaps the Bible is boring because we are no longer surprised by the Bible.

We know about Adam blaming Eve, Samson’s flowing locks and strength,  Jonah’s resentment, Jacob’s sneakiness, Esther's courage, Peter's denial, Paul's conversion. We just are not surprised when Easter is celebrated.

Allow me to let you in on a little secret that might sound a little crazy and even hyperbole, but it is something that changed my life. Here it is:

If you are reading the bible, you are doing it wrong. The bible is not meant to be read.

The bible is boring when you read it. We treat it like a movie that we have seen countless times. We think of the bible as like another media source and so it is something we read, something we consume, like any other book or movie. When we read it once we feel like we do after we watch a movie, we tell everyone that we have seen that. I is and have no deep desire to see it again.

You are not supposed to read the Bible, the Bible is supposed to read you.

It is collection of writings that we open ourselves up to in order to be convinced and shaped or formed. It is a living book that invites us to see that blaming another is not limited to Adam, that we too harbor resentment, that you and I manipulate others for our benefit, that Esther's courage is our courage and that we are Peter and we are Paul. These are not characters locked in the past or on a page. These are the stories of our lives today.

When we read the Bible, we are not surprised because we already know the ending. However, when we allow the Bible to read us, the surprises are never ending.