250 Things a Pastor Should Know
Architect Michael Sorkin published “250 Things an Architect Should Know” in the book What Goes Up (2018). After his death in 2020, the “250 Things” list was published under its own title.
I have had a fascination with this list since I first encountered it. I am like other people and people like lists. There is enjoyment in arguing what should or should not be on the list. I also love that 250 sounds like it should be exhaustive, but it is not. But perhaps the most significant reason I am enchanted with this list is because of the risk. Anyone who makes a list is exposed to the world, not from what is on the list but what is lacking from the list.
No list is ever comprehensive to be sure, and the wisdom of the desert and monastic traditions knew this also.
Throughout the early teachings of the Christian church, there are lists. Just consider the first book of the Philokalia lists have titles such as:
On Prayer: 153 Texts (Evagrios the Solitary)
On the Spiritual Law: 200 Texts (St. Mark th Ascetic)
For the Encouragement of the Monks in India who had written him: 100 Texts (St. John of Karpathos)
On May 15, 2020, in the spirit of Michael Sorkin, I began to create a list of 250 Things a Pastor Should Know. Then on April 6, 2022 I asked a few clergy women to help add to this list. When we could, we attempted to create a clergy parallel to the original list. For instance, the first item on the Sorkin list is “The feel of cool marble under bare feet.” The first on the clergy list? “The feel of washing bare feet.”
And so, after years of working, then forgetting, then getting stumped, then forgetting, and then adding to it, I am delighted to share “250 Things a Pastor Should Know”.
The feel of washing bare feet
How to live with people you do not like
How to live with people who do not like you
Candle maintenance
The length of time before 1/2 of the congregation's butt is numb from sitting
The distance of silence
Everything possible about desert spirituality (try not to see it as navel gazing)
The number of people who can comfortably fit in a sanctuary
In a hospital room
The best time to place a flower order
The beauty of stained glass
The stories it contains
And their meaning
How to bake bread
What Amos really meant by 'mercy not sacrifice."
The rate that membership is declining
Spiritual formation practices
How to unclog a toilet
How to read financial statements
A prayer a six year old could pray
and memorize it
The energy of a congregation compared to the energy of a mob
How to repent
How to lament
How to be silent
The Rublev icon
How many youth a large pizza can feed
How to change carpet colors in a sanctuary
How to discern the holy Spirit from indigestion
The patterns of the liturgical calendar
Remember that you are dust and to dust you will return
Conventional wisdom
Unconventional wisdom
Walking labyrinths in and out
Something about other faith traditions
How weird Christianity is
Basic prayer practices
The Triquetra
What a congregation wants
What a congregation thinks it wants
What a congregation needs
What a congregation needs to do
What the world needs the congregation to be
A working theology and a great deal of compassion and mercy
The difference between equality, equity, and justice
Another language
What the Holy Spirit really wants
The difference between divine protection and support
What problems the Jerusalem council addressed
What problems the Nicene council addressed
The downfall of a religious leader due to ethical failures
Where the camera angle is best for worship
Why Jesus really was killed, died and resurrected
How people lived in ancient Rome
The best structure to a meeting
How to determine how much bread and wine is needed
How to delegate
Didache
Abba Anthony
Amma Syncletica
The secrets of the faithfulness of Abba Moses
How heaven is built
The reciprocal influences of eastern and western Christianity
The cycle of grace and the cycle of grief
How to structure a sermon
Feeling of failing at a sermon
What its like to walk down the Via Dolorosa
Repent
The proper proportions of laugh and lament
Stand and awe
Hillel the Elder, et cetera.
How the dove descends
The difference between the Kingdom of God and a nation
How the temple was built
Why
The pleasures of the local church
The horrors
The quality of light passing through baptismal waters
The meaninglessness found in Ecclesiastes
The reason the teacher says it
The creativity of the prophet
The need for fools
Blessed are the flexible for they are never bent out of shape.
It is possible to worship God anywhere
The smell of incense
The cathedral found in the stone
How to pray out loud in front of people
How to pray silently in a crowd
The slop of backsliding and repentance
The wages of nursery workers
Recognizing the choir and musicians
Constructing a sermon orally, with shorter sentences than used in writing
The taste of Hawaiian bread at communion
Children's Time/Sermon
Sprinkle, Pour and submerge techniques
Sermon Prep
Patterns of how anxiety manifests
What human differences are worth defending
Sermon prep is a patient search
The debate between Wesley and Calvin
The reasons order is the least considered component of the Order of Elder
What is the kingdom of God
The organization of the tribes of Judah
Age of Father, Age of Son, Age of the Spirit
Understanding derivatives in languages
Safe Sanctuaries/Ministry Safe
The value of celebrating All Saints Day
The impact of colonialism on our understanding of mission
A distaste for proselytism
Church history
Attending a pilgrimage
Leading a pilgrimage
Historical, Wisdom and Prophetic books of the OT
Gospels, Epistles and Apocalyptic books of the NT
How to build support structures
How the Bible came to be
How to pronounce the name of the couple
How to pronounce the name of the deceased
Non-dominant hermeneutics
The fire code
The alarm code
Where all the extra wheelchairs and walkers are stored
The Reformers, throughout the church and theology
How to listen deeply
The danger of proclaiming one expression of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. The narrow expression of the Good News will be broken by circumstances that demand a broader expression.
An anointed corpse
Water, wine, bread
Welch's Grape Juice
Trappist beer
How to walk a labyrinth
The sign of the cross
Fear
Finding you way around the sanctuary, community, weddings, funerals, hospitals, ecumenical groups, marches, sacred sites, graveyards, city council, civic groups, youth events
The proper way to behave with congregation members
Shelby, Tithe.ly, FellowshipOne, whatever.
History of "how thing have always been done."
When to buy Fair Trade
Three lunch spots where church members won't find you and three where they can
The value of human life.
Who prays
Power of generosity
The Macbeth Effect
How people see
The difference between boundaries and barriers
The footnotes in the bible
How to understand process.
When to close your mouth
Full frontal hugs or just hugs
What funeral homes are the best to work with
Community demographics
The density needed to support a new worship service
The effect of design on people's feeling, emotions and mood
Thomas Cranmer and Ruth Duck
Girolamo Savonarola, Martin Luther, John Donne, George Whitefield, Charles Spurgeon, and Billy Graham
Theology, in and out
Augustine.
What to do when a homeless person sleeps on the church porch
Identifying the voiceless and giving them the microphone
Use of screens
An object lesson involving Mentos and Diet Coke
How to create a parable
How to create a metaphor
How to create a story
How to create a myth
How to create a ritual
How to know the difference between them all.
The importance of Amazon
How to do what needs to be done
Learning to say "no" to all the things people think you should be doing
The necessity of a Sunday afternoon nap
The view from the Mount of Olives
The way to the golden mean
Seven Deadly Sins
Where to eat during Annual Conference
Know when to leave
Know how to leave
Know how to arrive
Know how to lead a small group
How to have a one on one conversation
Basics of membership software
Easter sunrise worship
Good Friday worship
Maundy Thursday worship
Holy Saturday prayer vigil
The joys and frustrations of a community garden
Liberation.
Sabbatical
Dark Night of the Soul
Systematics
Pastoral Care
Wonder and its sources
What was accomplished in Vatican II
In the World Council of Churches
In Calcutta.
In Taize
In "the name of Christ"
What is mine to do
Why you think ecclesiology does any good.
The fundraising cycle
Ins and Out of Ashes and Oil
Utilizing Google documents
How to hire the right people
Discerning the movement of the spirit
When to wear a mic.
How to build a house on the rock
The connection between Mysticism and Thomas Merton
The connection between Dietrich Bonhoeffer and Martin Luther King Jr.
Where the altar guild room is
How to give a short responses
There reign of God is here
The reign of God is within you
The reign of God is yet to come
Theories of theodicy
The importance of spiritual disciplines
How soon is too soon
the capacity of contemplative prayer to renew the soul
Critiques of capitalism
Liturgical norms and traditions
The difference between teaching and preaching
The atmosphere of a sacred space
How to lead a blessing
The scope of creation
The number of palms needed for Palm Sunday
The gaze of who is with you during a sermon
How and when to rock the boat.
Preaching styles
The structure of liturgical structure
The Church's response to poverty and inequality
The diverse beauty of spiritual traditions
The transformative power of the Holy Spirit
Confession: offering and receiving
Forgiveness, offering and receiving
What to count
How to count it
Ethics
The brilliance of Howard Thurman
of Miguel A. De La Torre
of Dorothy Day
of James Cone
The Black Madonna
Christ the Redeemer
Who is your neighbor
The floor plan of a church building to send to the police department
Personal holiness
Social holiness
How to elegantly break bread
Why God created humanity as a bundle of desires
The folly of the cross
Ordinary time
The golden rule and other virtues
Why Jesus Loves You
In case you have not heard this Good News, Jesus loves you. We all are sinners and we all fall short of the Goodness of the transcendent God in the Holy Spirit. In fact Jesus loves you so very much that even as a sinner, even before you or I repented, Jesus was willing to die on a cross. Most people would be willing to die for a family member, some may be willing to die for a friend. Few would die for a cause. There is just one that I know who died for the sake of all - including the enemy.
What this means is that you and I do not have to be perfect or pure in order for Jesus to love us. Jesus loves us first and then, in response to this radical acceptance of God’s love, we cannot help but change how we live and move in the world. And therein lies the overlooked reason why Jesus loves you.
Before we get to that reason, let us reflect on disciple Judas.
Judas was the misguided or even malicious disciple of Jesus who was so ashamed or distraught in his actions that he committed suicide. This disciple could not see any way out, he was so lost that he thought he had to be perfect or clean before Jesus would love him. Judas missed the point entirely and as a result is now the name we call people who are among the worst of the worst. So much so that in Dante’s telling of Hell, the fourth round in the lowest circle of Hell is called Judecca - and it is reserved for the traitors to lords/benefactors/masters.
It takes a lot of courage to love the traitor. It takes a lot of grace to see the on who betrays you is also a child of God. It takes a lot of mercy to overcome the hate harbored toward the one who betrays our trust. One might even say it takes divine love.
You and I are able to love family, friends, and even neighbors just fine without the help of Jesus. Jesus loves you so that you have the courage, grace and mercy to love the one who betrays you.
Jesus loves you so that you can love Judas.
And if that is not a humbling thought, don’t forget that someone probably thinks you are Judas.
Hating the New Thing in a Different Way
Loving people as they are seems like a rather straightforward idea. However, for the most part, it seems that we love people as they are but we also expect they will change. Specifically they will change that thing that we do not love. We might love our children, but expect they will grow out of some unfavorable behavior (like throwing tantrums). We might love our parents, but expect they will grow out of treating us like we are perpetually ten years old. We might love our partner, but expect that over the years they will change and put the dang seat down!
We might even love God, but expect God to change in how God interacts with the world (like eliminate sin).
The thing about loving people as they are but expecting them to change is that we will never love them.
If the person you love changes in the way that you would hope they would change, then you will find some other feature about that person that you wish they would change. It is an endless cycle. We will not be able to love them because we will end up hating the new thing they become in a different way.
You child grows out of throwing tantrums, but now they repress their emotions and you wish they would change that. Your parents treat you as an adult, but now they are pressing you to have children of your own, and you hate that. Your partner finally puts the seat down, but now you are annoyed that they let dishes “soak” for three days!
Even when God eliminates sin, God now welcomes the former sinner into the kingdom and you wish that God would see that “those people” are freeloading on forgiveness.
We are faced with the paradox to love people as they are and not expect them to change, or never loving them at all.
Be the change by Jason Valendy is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.